VLAD

[breadpr1ncess]

I got a betta fish today. His name is Vlad.




IS BEAUTIFUL, NO? VLAD WILL BE NEXT COMRADE FROM GLORIOUS MOTHERLAND TO GRACE THE CATWALKS. HIS FLOWING FINS, THEY ENTICE YOU LIKE A BEAR SIPPING VODKA.




HE SWIMS IN TINY FISHBOWL LIKE IT IS MIGHTY BALTIC SEA. VALIANT VLAD, LIVING IN MINIATURE TANK WHICH PROTECTS YOU LIKE IRON CURTAIN!



PICTURE WAS TAKEN ABOVE BY HONORABLE COSMONAUTS FLYING OVER U.S. OF A. ON NON-NUCLEAR MISSION OF PEACE TO SPREAD LOVE, JOY, AND THE CLOUDS OF MUSHROOMS.



I've yet to exhaust my goldmine of Russian jokes ("In Soviet Russia, fish buys YOU!"; "HIS FINS SHINE PROUD LIKE KREMLIN"; "VLAD IS MODEL COMRADE AFTER VACATION TO SIBERIA" etc.)


He's very pretty though, and he seems to be enjoying living on my dresser.


I'm going to read.

Comments

[ryanfark.livejournal.com]

Learn anything new about your roommate?

[ryanfark.livejournal.com]

You could data mine using your fish in "non-awkward" ways such as this:

Sarah: (Watching Vlad pensively) So, um, according to scientists, some fish exhibit homosexual behavior...

Roommate: ...and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. For thine is the... huh?? What were you saying? I was in the midst of a devotion.

Sarah: I was just saying that some fish are queer. What do you think about that?

Roommate: Um.

Sarah: And, like, lesbians in general? Say, like, if your roommate was one? What would you do?

Roommate: ...

Sarah: ...

Roommate: ...for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory for ever and ever. Amen.

[breadprincess.livejournal.com]

I've mentioned the lesbian thing, and she doesn't seem to mind.